Women I Have Loved

Love comes in different flavors.  And one flavor is the desire to embrace a certain style of thought and turn of phrase, to savor it, and make it last.  It's a feeling that comes over me when I read particular women writers -- much stronger than simply "I wish that I had written that."

Right now, I'm reading this is getting old by Susan Moon.The book is 10 years old, so when she wrote it, she was only a bit younger than I am.  Her self-examination of what it feels like to get older is filled with self-compassion and wry humor. Her introspection is deep but not self-important.  There's just something about it that makes me sigh "yes" ...

I have a similar response to Anna Quindlen. Her fiction is painstakingly well-written, engaging, and tear-jerking. But it's her non-fiction that I really love. I recently read Nanaville, her chronicles of her journey as a grandmother. She has such a wonderful combination of finding the humor and the depth in everyday situations, not to mention a dexterity with words that comes from years of practice.




And of course, Ann Patchett.  I love, love, love her fiction, but it's her non-fiction that leaves me breathless with admiration. I recently read This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage, a collection of long-form, finely crafted essays. Patchett writes, among other things, about the craft of writing. She's a practitioner who studies and practices, never pretending that the elegantly-turned phrase just comes naturally, without effort.  I had the pleasure of hearing Patchett speak on her book tour for The Dutch House.  Her presentation and stories seemed natural and effortless, but having read her discussions of her process, I appreciate how much work goes into the appearance that it isn't work at all.

I'm a fan of a certain type of science fiction that I think of as fantastic (or fanciful) cultural anthropology.  Ursula Le Guin is (or was, since she passed away several years ago) one of my favorite writers in that sub-genre.  And like the other women I have loved, she produces excellent non-fiction essays as well.  In her eighties, near the end of her life, she assembled a collection called No Time to Spare.  Like Susan Moon, she ruminates on the joys and aches and pains of aging with tenderness, humor, and a bit of anger that the world doesn't properly respect the wisdom of elders.

My hit parade wouldn't be complete without another Anne -- Anne Lamott.  She's definitely the funniest of the bunch, but she's equally introspective, searching, and plumbing the depths of what it means to be a woman, a mother, a grandmother, and just a thoughtful human being.  Like Ann Patchett, she writes about the craft of writing in Bird by Bird.  For her, it is oftentimes both painstaking and painful, but something she can't live without.



 
And the grandmother of them all, Virginia Woolf. Years ago, reading A Writer's Diary, I discovered the magic of the finely-tuned essay.  I was mesmerized by both her turn of mind and her turn of phrase. I never aspired to write the great American novel, or even the great American short story, despite being an avid reader as soon as I had mastered the art. But often, as I read the inspiring work of these brilliant women, I have moments of "if only"...  At a certain age, I think we all regret at least one path we didn't pursue.  For me, essayist is one of those paths not taken.  In the meantime, I will continue to delight in the combination of thoughtfulness, poignancy, wisdom, and humor delivered by these women I have loved.