Bird by Bird, Book by Book

TBR (to be read). One of the most seductive and sometimes terrifying acronyms that I know. My physical TBR has reached monumental proportions, justifying the labels aspirational library or the lovely Japanese tsundoku. And my physical to-be-read library is positively dwarfed by the 1200+ titles on my Goodreads TBR. How in the world did I get here and how will I ever dig my way out?

For starters, I've always been an avid reader, and I've always loved to own books. I go through cycles where I try to restrain myself and rely solely on the library, but eventually I re-offend and start buying books again.  My family and friends know that I'm incapable of leaving a bookstore empty-handed, and I love bookstores.

I've stepped up my reading game in the past several years, partly because of the pandemic, of course, but also simply because it was time. Time to get a bit more serious.  Time to get over the graduate school experience of always needing to read so critically that it ruined "good books" for me for years. But those scars have healed. And there are so many "good books," both classic and recent, that I've decided to avoid wasting my precious reading hours on just average books or relying on the Barnes and Noble 3-for-the-price-of-2 table to make my selections.

I'm actively seeking out book recommenders whom I respect, and I'm entranced by all the possibilities. When it comes to books, I'm what Gretchen Rubin calls an abundance lover. I really, really enjoy being surrounded by lots of books. I have a priority list of sorts for my next 5 or 6 reads, but if none of those suits my mood when I'm ready for a new book, I know that everything within reach is "worthy" of my attention. I've set myself up to avoid the dreaded DNF (did not finish).

I sometimes wonder why I feel excited about all these books that I might never read, why I don't feel completely overwhelmed. Then I remember the story Anne Lamott told in her wonderful book Bird by Bird. When her brother was in elementary school, he had a big project that required him to research and report on a number of birds. As elementary school kids (or 70-year-old women) are wont to do, he procrastinated. And then, a few days before the project was due, he panicked. So much to do, so little time. Anne tells us: "Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder and said, 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'” And that is my approach to my TBR. My eye isn't on some end goal of reading them all. I just want to take it book by book and enjoy the journey.