Quote of the Day -- Albert Einstein

In matters concerning truth and justice there can be no distinction between big problems and small; for the general principles which determine the conduct of men are indivisible. Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted in important affairs.

-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day -- Martin Buber

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.

-- Martin Buber

Maslow's Hierarchy

Cognitive dissonance isn't unusual, but lately it seems to be a constant state of affairs. People's perceptions of the world around us, of right and wrong, and of goals for the future seem so dramatically different that if feels like we're living in different universes. Each side demonizes the other, or at the very least feels strong disdain for those with divergent points of view. 

Many of us struggle to try to understand how we got here and to find a way forward out of this seemingly unbridgeable chasm. I've been reading and listening to many theories, none of which provides a particularly compelling explanation. But one thing strikes me. People in this country are at very different places in Maslow's hierarchy of needs -- probably more so than we were 30 or 40 years ago.

I remember when the TV show Thirtysomething was popular in the late 80's and early 90's. It featured a collection of youngish but aging professionals struggling with their identities and their goals and aspirations. They were definitely focused on their psychological and self-fulfillment needs. The show was very popular and provided great water-cooler fodder for those of us who vaguely resembled the characters in the show. And it was the subject of disdain for those who felt like these were people who had everything and were whining about it. Perhaps attitudes toward this show provided early hints of the animosity toward the "educated elite" -- those of us who go to work with laptops or briefcases.

On the flip side, TV shows like Roseanne and Married with Children were popular during the same era and appealed to a different audience entirely. Bits were funny, crass, tasteless, incomprehensible or just like the guy next door, depending on your point of view. Much more attention was paid to the challenges of meeting basic needs or increasing esteem. Self-actualization just wasn't in the picture.

As a contrast, remember the 70's when everyone shared a laugh about Archie Bunker, Edith and "Meathead" the next day at school or at work? Today, All in the Family would seem too painfully descriptive of the class war we are living through and not funny at all. Discussing it would be walking through a mine field. Gone are the days when we all watch the evening news with Walter Cronkite or David Brinkley and share a common set of facts about the world. The gaps in income, education, and life experience grow wider every year. Saying that our similarities are more important than our differences seems increasingly false.

Today, when I listen to a Gretchen Rubin podcast about tips for being a little happier, or read about how to "lean in" or about how social media and smart phones have fundamentally changed our lives, I have this niggling sense of guilt. Having the time and energy to read or listen to these ideas, to ponder them, means that I'm fortunate enough to be at the top of Maslow's hierarchy. How can I begin to relate to someone who is struggling to meet their basic needs or even someone whose esteem has been eroding because of globalization and the changing demands of the workplace? And how can I resent them for resenting me? But does that mean I should abandon efforts to increase my own knowledge on a variety of topics?

More questions than answers. In the meantime, I'll keep exploring theories of how we got here and how we might recover, but finding optimism is a constant struggle in the midst of this pervasive cognitive dissonance.

Quote of the Day -- Henry Miller

One's destination is never a place, but always a new way of seeing things.

-- Henry Miller

Quote of the Day -- Carl Sagan

It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money, so long as you have got it.

-- Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World

Pay It Forward and Philanthropic Shopping

On a whim, I decided to research the origin of the expression "pay it forward" and found an interesting article in wikipedia, my go-to knowledge source. I found that the expression was popularized by Robert Heinlein in his 1951 novel Between Planets:

The banker reached into the folds of his gown, pulled out a single credit note. "But eat first—a full belly steadies the judgment. Do me the honor of accepting this as our welcome to the newcomer."

His pride said no; his stomach said YES! Don took it and said, "Uh, thanks! That's awfully kind of you. I'll pay it back, first chance."

"Instead, pay it forward to some other brother who needs it."

The idea has blossomed into a movement and even a foundation. And like so many good ideas, it now seems like common sense. What good does it due to "pay back" someone who really doesn't need repayment. Isn't it far better to help someone else with the funds or influence when you have them?

And this got me thinking about shopping and whether there is a "buy it forward" equivalent. Searching for "philanthropic shopping" yielded retailers who specialize in fair trade goods or who donate a percent of their profits to charity.  But I'm thinking more of the trade-off between frugality and spending, when the spending might actually be a "buy it forward" gesture.

For example, I love to read. I love bookstores. And I'm seldom able to leave a bookstore without at least one new purchase. This feels frivolous to me when there is a perfectly good library close to my home that offers the convenience of reserving books online. And yet... I think there is value in supporting authors by actually purchasing their books. This is especially true for authors of somewhat obscure but high-quality books who haven't broken through the noise of the best-seller world. So I assuage my conscience by getting popular fiction from the library but purchasing quite a few books as well.

Similarly, there is a strong movement among the so called "educated elite" (and that label isn't considered a compliment by the labelers) to support quality journalism by subscribing to newspapers and magazines. Apparently, subscription rates are increasing, especially among millennials, who typically expect information to be free. Clearly, they are "buying it forward."

And finally, when traveling in developing countries, I feel compelled to purchase local arts and crafts. Of course, I love to have them hanging on our walls and adorning our shelves. But I also feel like I am doing good... buying it forward. And I've been "doing good" all over the world with my pocketbook.

Recently, we had the good fortune to make two brief stops on a southern Mediterranean cruise, in Tunisia and Algeria. In Algeria, we were one of the first large ships to visit and they were still gearing up for tourism. Our visit was heavily guarded and tightly controlled. We had absolutely no opportunity to spend a single cent. People were thrilled to see us and waved at our buses with appreciation, but I felt badly that I couldn't "buy it forward."

Worse, in Tunisia, we did have the opportunity to visit a village. We trouped through the streets, past many shops and stands. They were clearly delighted that tourism was resuming. But our leader took us to an "approved" store and gave us only a few minutes to wander elsewhere. I was devastated and felt like an ugly American. I think it was part of our obligation as affluent tourists to reward their work by buying some of their wares. When we returned to the ship, I went out to the stalls in the port and purchased several items. I felt a bit better but still gave my two-cents worth on my critique of the visit.

Maybe I'm rationalizing, but as someone fortunate enough to have disposable income and to be able to travel, I think that "buying it forward" is an important philosophy.

Quote of the Day -- Mark Twain

An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.

-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day -- Maria Shriver

If we can't be kind to one another, then we're never going to be able to work together, to build happiness together, or move this world forward together.

-- Maria Shriver

Quote of the Day -- Anne Lamott

Laughter lifts the phonograph needle out of the scratches on my heart's album.

-- Anne Lamott, 

from Some Assembly Required

Quote of the Day -- Freya Stark

I have no reason to go, except that I have never been, and knowledge is better than ignorance. What better reason could there be for traveling?

-- Freya Stark