The constant remaking of order out of chaos is what life is all about, even in the simplest domestic chores such as clearing the table and washing the dishes after a meal…but when it comes to the inner world, the world of feeling and thinking, many people leave the dishes unwashed for weeks so no wonder they feel ill and exhausted.
And even though I accept that I'm now the matriarch of our little clan, I don't think of myself as old. Older yes, advanced middle age for sure, but definitely not old. Like most of my friends, I joke and complain about getting older and what it does to my body and occasionally my memory. But I struggle to envision myself being really old, and all that goes with it, like perhaps losing my independence before I'm ready. People often say that one of the beauties of youth is believing that you'll live forever. I don't know if that belief ever really goes away until you're faced with a serious illness. Blessedly, I lack the imagination to envision myself as old.
Here's another person (along with Mary Kay) whom I never expected to be quoting, but...
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.
Nature has made two sorts of excellent intellects; one kind to produce beautiful thoughts or actions, the other to admire them.
In her wonderful book Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, Susan Cain attributes the over-valuing of extroversion in our society, at least in part, to the transformation in the early twentieth century from a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality. She cites the work of Warren Susman, a cultural anthropologist, who describes the migration from the small town (where everyone knows your name and your character) to the big city (where you need to find a way to stand out). The traits that were important in a small community are no longer sufficient to guarantee your success in the more anonymous urban world.| Culture of Character | Culture of Personality |
|---|---|
| Citizenship | Magnetism |
| Duty | Fascinating |
| Work | Stunning |
| Golden deeds | Attractive |
| Honor | Glowing |
| Reputation | Dominant |
| Morals | Forceful |
| Manners | Energetic |
| Integrity |
The comparison seems a bit loaded, but also unfortunately fairly accurate. And it exposes the root of my discomfort with self-branding. When is self-promotion OK and necessary? When it is self-aggrandizement and just over the top? It is a balancing act. I admire the personal brands created by several people that I "follow" -- Dan Rather, Bill Moyers, Gretchen Rubin, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink are just a few examples. But each of them sometimes ventures over the line (in my opinion) because self-marketing is so necessary today. Contrast them with someone I've come to dislike because his personal brand is excessive -- James Patterson. And yet, his net worth probably exceeds everyone on my first list combined.